BOOK REVIEW: Not Becoming My Mother

Let me preface this by saying that I'm not into cookbooks (the author is some big shot cookbook writer), but I am dealing with a mother who is someone I don't want to become. For a long time, it seemed that this was the wrong way to think. After all, family means forgiving and accepting everything because they're blood. However, after reading this book, I realized that it's okay to look at a family member and come to terms with the fact that you love them, but at the same time you want to distance yourself from them. 

Reichl's book has a humorous tone as she explains how her mother literally poisoned her classmates with stale food, how her mother spent so much of her life trying to find the meaning of it, but ultimately remained unhappy. What's funny is that to Reichl and to the reader, her misery seemed of her own making. Her mother was pressured to study music and so she did. She wanted to become a doctor, but she didn't because men wouldn't appreciate a smart plain looking woman. Her entire life was bowing down to her mother's expectations and pressures and when she finally woke up it was too late to take herself out of the mentality she had been brainwashed with. 

The book is only 112 pages long, but it really made me reflect about my own situation. I don't have a mother who is trying to find herself in her career. I have a mother who has no motivation for anything. Yet, like Ruth Reichl's mom, she taught me subconsciously not to be like her. She taught me don't learn how to do female things just study so you don't have to depend on a man. In contrast, her own mother had nine children and taught her that men cheat and that every woman just has to deal with it. While my mother's lessons may seem sound, they have damaged my perspective in many different ways. 

One of the ways is that I am now 27 trying to learn basic things like cooking, ironing, and sewing. My mother having thought that women only need to do that for a man, forgot that women who live by themselves have to do this too. Another way is my view of men. My mother taught me to be suspicious of them and I in turn have closed off my heart to the possibility of finding a caring, responsible, and faithful man. She turned me against my father and now that I've grown up I realize that he just wasn't equipped to deal with a manic depressive. A woman who is so obsessed with being a martyr that she takes food from her family to give it to others. And most depressingly, a woman who never admits that she needs help. 

Reichl observes the same in her parents. Her father is constantly supporting his wife in a desperate attempt to make her happy, but in all truth our happiness comes from within. We have to be strong enough to know that we cannot follow in the bad footsteps of our parents and that sometimes our parents show us what NOT to do instead of what to do. We also have to do what makes us happy and what is good for us even if society doesn't agree. 

Reichl wrote this book because she felt she owed it to her mother to write her story. To write about the effects that our parents have on us and society at large. What does it do to a woman to live out her parent's dreams? To every day be told by your own mother that you're not pretty? To see your mother quit her job to save her husband's pride? It's enough to drive even people in this age to suicide, imagine back then! 

I wrote this review because I feel thankful. Thankful that Reichl has showed me to love what I can about my mother and to learn from her how to be better and ultimately, not become her. 

Movie (SPOILER) Review: Avengers: ENDGAME

The hype for this movie was extremely high and as someone who had seen every single Marvel film multiple times, I was one of the ones screaming at every scene. However, after your emotions wind down and you start to analyze the film, you begin to see its major flaws. I won't do a play by play of every scene, but I will point out five flaws or plot holes that the film had that made me enjoy it less once I calmed down.

1. SJW Agenda


Clearly there was one and the Russos did a great job not making the film about it, but Kevin Feige clearly had other ideas. The scene where all the girls are together backing Captain Marvel made me eye roll so hard. My eyes rolled because they turned the scene between Black Widow, Okoye and Scarlet Witch in Infinity War into something about female power when in reality it was about three women who respected each other's strengths and the fact that they could help each other.

This, unfortunately, was not the only scene. At the end of the film, we have a black Captain America, Thor goes off into the galaxy leaving the Asgardians to be ruled by a black woman, and Iron Man dies to make way presumably for Captain Marvel or Shuri. Black Widow dies, replacing one of the only female characters that I loved. A woman who does not need to shove the fact that she is a badass down everybody's throats, but who demonstrates it every time she's in combat.

That being said, I don't mind black characters or female characters. I do mind when their color or sex overshadows the character because it makes the film about a political agenda and not about the story.
I hope that in the next phase they handle these characters taking on their new mantles well and that Marvel focuses more on storytelling and not on fulfilling a diversity quota. I'm all for original black comic book characters to be included in the universe, but I'm against token characters that are only there because black people keep complaining about representation in a country that is 60 percent white.

2. HULK 

The Hulk clearly doesn't get the arc that he deserves in this film. My hope continues to be that they flesh out the character development in future stories, but I won't be holding my breath.

Bruce Banner clearly has some issues to work out with the Hulk as we see he has difficulty shifting in Infinity War. Then in Endgame we have a time jump and everything was solved off screen. That is simply bad storytelling. I am one of the ones who was looking forward to seeing how he would solve this problem. I thought that maybe Tony would play a part in helping him or that he would experiment on himself or come to a big epiphany that would serve to fix everything, but alas, nothing.

I feel betrayed by how Marvel just skipped over this and I realize the movie was so long, but I honestly would have preferred for it to be longer and for everything to have been resolved better. His reaction to Natasha's death was almost non-existent and it was really a disgrace. He loved that woman and he just throws a bench? Really?!

3. Pym Particle

So in the movie Nebula has one Pym particle to go back to 2023 and she gives it to Thanos. The audience is meant to presume that she used the Pym particle and that Thanos somehow duplicated it in order to bring his entire army into the future. So you're telling me that Ebony Maw is such a genius that he can recreate only something Hank Pym was able to make on Earth and something for which he had no previous knowledge that it was even possible?


Yeah, okay.

4. The Infinity Stones

The Ancient One clearly says that if the stones do not exist then it would greatly impact reality and the universe would be attacked. Clearly Thanos destroyed the stones and for five years the Avengers haven't faced any threats. So what happened?

The film sets rules for the stones and then throws them out the window. People may argue that Thanos just reduced them to atoms, but the film doesn't specify what would be effects of them being reduced to atoms. And what about when the heroes took them from their respective timelines to use them? What happened to those realities? Again, I can only hope that this is addressed in future films, which it looks to me Spider-Man: Far from Home will do.

5. Parallelism between Tony's arc and Thanos' arc

The biggest reason Thanos was able to succeed in Infinity War was his ability to sacrifice his daughter for his cause. He never hesitated even though it hurt. I think having Tony face the same choice would have improved the film even more. The Avengers lost because all of them were willing to sacrifice themselves, but not others. While we want our heroes to be better, someone did have to be sacrificed anyway and I think Tony having to struggle with that decision would have been a great way to relate his character back to Thanos.

Some great things about the film

Black Widow was one of the few female characters I liked in this franchise, but I think she had a decent send-off. This was her redemption after having been betrayed by Hydra and having realized that she had been working for the bad guy for a long time. Here we see her sacrifice herself for the first man who saw good in her and who saw what she could become and I don't think there would have been a better way to send her off.

I loved that Cap got to stay behind with Peggy. This was predicted by many people, but I still loved that scene. Cap was always so aimless and a man out of time. His life seemed like an endless battle and so I'm glad he decided to rest and have his happily ever after like he always wanted.

The payoff for that line in Avengers is amazing. " You're not the guy to make the sacrifice play," said Cap to Tony and it came back to bite him. The role reversal of Iron Man sacrificing his life and Captain American making the selfish choice of staying behind made the movie for me. They are the most beloved characters and they both went out honorably.

The random kid (Harley) at the funeral. I loved Harley in Iron Man 3 and if it's not Spider-Man, I would love for him to take up the mantle of Iron Man. I think they had a lot of things in common like feeling abandoned by their dads and I would love to see more of Harley and how he handles Iron Man's death and what he's been up to all these years with all that tech that Tony left behind for him.

Overall, the film tied up some loose ends nicely, but I am forever hopeful that they develop the characters we love a bit more.

Norwegian TV Series: SKAM

(Chris, Vilde, Eva, Noora, and Sana doing the 10,000th slow-mo walk in this show)

I know it's been a long time, but I recently moved to South Korea and my dreams of a stress-free life full of free time have gone up in smoke which has left me busy and anxiety ridden. However, I just had to jump back on to write about a Norwegian show I recently discovered. I discovered this show while searching for BL couples on YouTube. After my discovery of Addicted, I plunged into the world of BL series with as much gusto as my Spanish blood dictates and have since then watched no less than maybe 30 series related to the topic. Suffice it to say, I wasted no time plunging into SKAM (Shame) for my BL fix.

When I started watching the series I realized that it wasn't all BL and it was one of those typical high school dramas about a couple of kids coming of age and realizing how hard life is and blah blah blah. The show even laughs at itself and acknowledges its resemblance to popular American shows like Gossip Girl in the fact that girls backstabbing each other is a universal thing. However, this show did something different in that these girls have a better friendship than Serena and Blair ever could have conceived and do a good job of bonding and *gasp* communicating. Something that Gossip Girl never seemed to portray well ... or ever.

The series consists of four seasons with about twelve episodes each. Each season is from the view of the four major characters of the series. These characters are Eva, Noora, Isak, and Sana. Below I'll break down the summary for each season and my thoughts on each one.

Season 1
The first season introduces Eva and her boyfriend Jonas and how she becomes friends with the other girls who are also part of the main cast. The season starts with Eva always staring after Ingrid and gives us a little bit of a mystery as we're left wondering why our seemingly kind lead is being pointedly ignored and hated by her ex-best friend. We see Eva suspect Jonas of cheating on her with Ingrid and we learn her insecurities are justified as she kissed and began a relationship with Jonas while he was still in a relationship with her best friend. Stealing her best friend's boyfriend has drowned her in feelings of paranoia and guilt as she struggles with trusting a guy who cheated on her friend to be with her. How does she know he won't cheat with anyone else? The answer is she doesn't and as it's typical fashion she engages in self-destructive behavior by cheating on him first with a horn dog named Christoffer at a random party and Jonas ends up finding out through his best friend Isak. This is the best part: throughout the show Isak has been acting as Eva's confidant in dealing with Jonas but betrays her and spreads the rumor of her mistake. Eva mistakenly assumes he did so because he liked her and Isak is in the closet so he encourages her line of thought.

(Eva and Jonas and a smirky Isak in the background)

The reveal that Isak is gay was not much of a reveal because I had come from watching a lot of FMVs of him and his beau. However, it was a shock to the characters in the show and made a grand finale for fans of SKAM.

Similar to Gossip Girl, the show includes a lot of intrigue and mystery and backstabbing. However, unlike Gossip Girl, there is some character development and noticeable change as characters reach out and admit that they're wrong and resolve their problems and end up with friendships and relationships that are stronger than ever. This is one of the reasons the show is addictive and satisfying.

Overall, the first season did a good job in getting me invested in the characters. The story of Eva and Jonas is very relatable. You are with someone who cheated on someone else to be with you and if you are a good person, like Eva is, that will haunt you. It was interesting to see how she handled it and how she was mature enough to admit that she couldn't continue the relationship because she could never trust him. That being said, Eva completely regressed in the second season and below I will talk about why.

Season 2
The second season focuses on Noora and William, but we see glimpses of Eva and she is basically drunk and making out with the guy she cheated on Jonas with from the first season. Her character regressed into a complete mess and thank God they mostly focus on Eva's friend, Noora. A self-professed feminist and virgin, Noora abhors the school's good looking bad boy, William.

(Bad boy William)

In the first season, William took Vilde's virginity, made her wear a sweatshirt that told everyone she slept with him, and shitted on her by pretending not to know her after he slept with her. Noora shitted on him in return by insulting him and basically telling him his parents must not love him and then William started to pursue her.

I honestly thought William just wanted her for the conquest, but he started getting really persistent by blackmailing Noora into dates. Noora just wants to keep him away from Vilde and acquiesces, but totally falls in love with him after getting to know how warm and fluffy he is on the inside. Not really. He's a violent guy with some family drama and she's a feminist with some family drama. They are perfect for each other! But seriously, this is a wonderful couple who has to deal with the fact that William's brother is a psycho and his parents could care less that their teenage son is living alone with occasional visits from the psycho brother who accidentally killed their youngest daughter.

The second season was probably my second favorite season after the third season. I really liked William and Noora's relationship simply because I like the we-used-to-hate-each-other-but-now-we-love-each-other trope.

(Norwegian Twilight, anyone?)

Noora's insult in the first season of William being a product of negligent parents was just a typical insult anyone would use on a bully, but it really struck home because it was true.  In the second season they developed his character a bit more and gave us a glimpse of his dark past and the despair he feels till this day because of the death of his sister. This despair has manifested itself in his violent fights with gangs and self-destructive behavior when it comes to relationships. Noora is the first one to stand up to him and say "show me the real you" and it completely breaks him down and I love it.

Finally, I would just like to say that this season made a good job in repairing friendships. Vilde is obviously still crushing on William after he apologized at Noora's request. The whole season she waits for Noora to tell her about dating William secretly and though it takes her a while after much scheming from Vilde, she finally does sit Vilde down and tells her about it. Vilde appreciates her honesty and is sad about William, but relieved that Noora cares about her enough to tell her the truth. I was amazed again by their maturity and willingness to communicate with each other because pride and fear shouldn't get in the way of open communication or it shouldn't if you want to maintain a relationship. Skam does this really well. But on to my favorite season: season 3!

Season 3
Finally, what I came here to see! This season focuses on Isak, Jonas' secretly gay best friend who ruined Jonas' relationship with Eva because of his feelings for him. Throughout the season we see Isak trying to date a lot of girls and desperately trying to hide his need of butt sex. In between make-out sessions with girls he researches gay porn and tries (and fails!) not to stare too hard at Even. Even is a new student in the school and he has a girlfriend. Isak is the first who tries to go all in and with the help of Noora's gay roommate, finally admits that he's gay and wants to be with Even. Even is a bipolar dreamy type who is always talking about death and alternate realities in between manic episodes where he runs outside naked in the freezing cold. His girlfriend takes Isak's shock as an opportunity to sabotage their relationship by insinuating that Even being gay is just a big manic episode. Luckily, Isak's friend happens to have a mother who is bipolar and he dryly educates him on manic episodes and how they could not last for so long. This common sense shocks Isak and he finally pulls his head out of his ass and goes after Even.

While this is my shortest summary, it's still my favorite season. I liked how Isak's struggle was portrayed and how he came to terms with his sexuality. The show and Isak's friends make it pretty clear that being gay is not a big deal in the atheist Norwegian society that the show is set in, but it's not always about society. This was an inner struggle for Isak who is finally discovering who he really is and how it may not fit into what others and he expects of himself. He starts off as a closeted guy who outwardly insults gay or flamboyant men and then he becomes the guy who accepts he may like guys but he's not like "those other gay guys who act feminine" and finally he becomes the guy we wanted him to become. He becomes a guy who understands that people are just being who they are and loving themselves and the people around them while ignoring the ones who don't appreciate them for who they are. He hit the "fuck-it" stage of being gay and it was glorious to see.



Season 4
This season focuses on Sana, a Norwegian Muslim girl who knows she will never fit in and never tries to. She is snarky and sarcastic and puts people in their place by bringing to light their secret prejudices and calling them out on it.

I loved her from the first episode. Her make-up is on point, her attitude is on point, her quips are on point and she's everything. Unfortunately, I never watched this season simply because it deals with her liking a guy and struggling with that because she's not allowed to date or have sex outside of marriage and all these other things. I'm sure I should just give it a chance, but the synopsis kind of sounds like they turned her from the sarcastic Sana that I loved in the previous seasons to the typical whiny teenager. I'm sure I'll give it a try and I will come back to edit this review when I do, but until such a time I will just say that if you're a fan of the first three seasons then there is no reason to stop there.

Edit
So I finally watched this season recently and I love it! Sana is crushing on a guy who she assumes is a Muslim, but finds out he is just as atheistic as all the blonde people around them. The guy she's crushing on, Yousef, is a friend of her brother's who constantly comes around her house to set off her hormones.

To be honest, I didn't expect to like this season, but as a person who believes in God, it really hit home. This season is not only about Sana's crush and her fighting her feelings even while a broken-hearted Noora tongues her crush, it's about many other important things. We see her defensive attitude against girls who she feels are attacking her because she's a Muslim who doesn't drink. We deal with her struggling between being a good Muslim girl, but still being able to keep her identity of being a typical Norwegian party girl. This last one was the biggest identity crisis dealt with on the show. Sana wants people to see her as a cool Norwegian girl so bad while still keeping and protecting her beliefs and it's simply not possible.

The bible says that if you are with others who are in sin you will begin to resent God and this is what happens with Sana. She begins to feel resentment when she's in the middle of a party where everyone is drinking and having sex, but she has to find a private room to pray in. She begins to feel torn when her mother tells her to marry a Muslim man and she's crushing on an atheist. She begins to feel torn when she throws a party in her house and has to hurry to hid the alcohol from her parents.

I can totally relate to her struggle and I can see objectively that eventually she would have to distance herself from those people or leave her faith behind. Every day, she had an attitude with people and Isak tried to make her see how she had an inferiority complex and they end up having one of the best dialogues on the show.

Sana: Maybe that's for the best (not asking questions). I've received so many dumb, racist questions throughout my life.
Isak: No, Sana. The dumb questions are so fucking important! People can't stop asking dumb questions because if they stop asking dumb questions, they'll make up the answers. And that's dangerous.

This was so impactful and so true. We are living in sensitive times where people get angry even when you ask them where they're from. If you don't let people ask you questions about your culture, your religion and your ancestors, they will make up the answer and if they're people in power then you will be very screwed. I really love this season for bringing this to light and I thought it was the perfect message with which to end the series.

Final Thoughts
I loved this show so much. It kept me interested and on the edge of my seat. It was addictive and engaging. The soundtrack features many amazing Norwegian and American artists and nostalgic tracks that we all still love to listen to. The cast is full of blonde haired and blue eyed people, but that's to be expected. It's freaking Norway!

Still, watch it because it portrays all the teen angst that you could ever want without any of the parents that you didn't (seriously, where are the parents in this show?). Watch it because this show preaches love. The love of a friend, of a lover or even of an enemy.

Chinese Web Series: Addicted

The lovely couple: Gu Hai and Bai Luo Yin

Let me preface this by saying that while I may not be a bible-thumping Christian, I do believe in God. However, when it comes to gay issues I believe that God is the only one who has the right to judge others. Given the aforementioned I am not afraid to state that I love myself some Yaoi, especially after watching this web series.

The 15-episode web series stars Johnny Huang as the seme, Gu Hai and Timmy Xu as the uke. Gu Hai is a manly military brat with a powerful commander for a father. Gu Hai's wealth and military background allow him to be the short-tempered high schooler that he is. However, underneath his bad attitude and reckless behavior is a sweet, loyal and playful lover who is willing to do anything for his taciturn uke, Bai Luo Yin.

Unlike Gu Hai, Bai Luo Yin comes from a poor background and lives with his single father who is very supportive but hare brained. Despite his playful father, Bai Luo Yin is very guarded and solemn due to the abandonment of his mother. Maybe as a result of this trauma, he does not like for people to see him do kind things even though he has a big heart underneath his cold exterior.

First Meeting

In the beginning of the drama, Gu Hai explains to his girlfriend that his father just got married to the woman he was having an affair with while his mother was still alive. While having dinner his father mentions his wife's son may come to live with them. Gu Hai has a fit and declares that he will move out if that guy moves into his house. His father tells him to get out and Gu Hai is not one to bluff so he moves out and decides to transfer from his private school while he's at it.

At his new school, he pretends to be a poor guy and lives in a humble home. Meanwhile, at home BLY picks up the phone. It's his adorable puppy of a friend Yang Meng who is calling him because he is late for school...again. It should be mentioned that BLY lives very far from his school and walks the distance every day. This means he gets home late and barely sleeps and so he spends most of his time sleeping. Luckily, he's a genius and can answer the questions of his frustrated teachers correctly.

On the first day of class BLY is tasked with writing the names of his classmates for the seating chart and is puzzled by the handwriting of the new guy. He storms over to Gu Hai's desk to find out his name and after Gu Hai tells him BLY snarkily replies that if he's human he should use human language (HA!). It's love at first sight for Gu Hai once he sees BLY's beautiful handwriting and he makes it his mission to get to know this short-tempered guy.

Through much stalking Gu Hai finds out about BLY's poor background and his lack of a mother, which he sympathises with. Meanwhile, BLY's mother shows up to offer him private education courtesy of her new wealthy husband. 

Yes, it's true. BLY's mother and Gu Hai's father are married and the stepbrothers are none the wiser for most of the drama.

Falling in love

Gu Hai spends most of his time making gay comments and touching BLY's crotch while BLY spends most of his time playing hard to get. 

Their interactions and bed scenes (Gu Hai starts sleeping over BLY's house) are what makes them such a great couple. I love that this is a couple with two very manly man, but I am skeptical of Chinese web series always implying that two men just happen to fall in love with each other (they're not gay, people!). Yeah, riggghhhht. 

This brings me to BLY's behavior. He really has a hard time acknowledging Gu Hai's feelings and doing something about it, but also does not want to let him go. Yet, if we think about the fact that this is a guy who had a beautiful girlfriend in the past (we'll come back to that crazy bitch) it is very realistic that he would struggle with the strange feelings he has for this new guy. On top of it all, is that he is clearly the bottom in this relationship and is faced with having to acknowledge that as well. 

While I can be understanding of his struggle, BLY did frustrate me a little with the constant push and pull, but I was well rewarded as once he decided on what he wanted he managed to return all the love that Gu Hai showed him. 

The struggle of a gay couple is very real, especially with BLY's stalkish ex-girlfriend who refuses to acknowledge their break-up even though she lives in America and he constantly blocks her phone. I commend the directors and writers for this marvelous story. Gu Hai is a wonderful character whose loyalty and profound love could be an inspiration to any straight couple. It's really easy for me to accept the series' premise that these two exceptional people would fall for each other. Gu Hai easily understands that BLY is in need for affection and reassurance that he will stay no matter what unlike his mother. As a person with abandonment issues I can understand the allure of someone as loving and devoted as Gu Hai. 

Gu Hai is someone who always does his best to cater to BLY's needs. He cooks for him, washes his underwear (according to the novel), and knows how to break down BLY's barriers.

So watch to see two sexy man court each other. Watch to see that love is for everyone. Watch to see the jealousy, the angry moments, the violence, the uncertainty and the vulnerabilities that come with falling in love wether you're gay or straight. 

A note about the drama

While Gu Hai's courtship is wonderfully entertaining, viewers should be aware that Gu Hai is quick to violence and rape. He's the type of person who sees red when he gets angry and is quick to act first and then apologize. In short, this is a guy ruled by his id. I love some violence and tension in relationships, which is why I'm obsessed with this drama, but I know this may not be everyone's cup of tea. 

Comparison between novel and web series

The novel was written by Chai Ji Dian (Counterattack) and contains the story in it's entirety. The web series omits a lot and so it is confusing for the viewers who may feel they have missed a lot of the story. I recommend for everyone to read some of the translated chapters on Soompi forums or Wattpad as you can really get to know the characters and the story a bit more.

The web series' second season was banned by China thanks to their conservative views, but you can read the rape scene and their years together on Wattpad. 

Glossary of terms

Seme: Japanese term to describe the top in a gay relationship.

Uke: Japanese term to describe the bottom in a gay relationship.

Yaoi: Japanese term for Boy's Love. 

...and one more for the road :) 

Chinese Drama: Boss & Me

Chinese dramas usually have the talent of senselessly stretching out a show for no apparent reason, but I was pleasantly surprised to find out this is not the case for this 34-episode drama. Boss & Me or Shan Shan Comes to Eat is a delightful Chinese drama starring Zhao Li Ying as the title character Xue Shan Shan and Zhang Han as her hero, Feng Teng. As side characters are Zheng Qi (Huang Ming), Feng Teng's best friend and art director and Yuan Li Shu (Li Cheng Yuan) as Feng Teng's childhood friend and Xue Shan Shan's rival.

In this drama there is no senseless amnesia, no evil parents against the poor girl marrying their son, no accidents and no drama tropes designed to make us roll our eyes and click away. Instead this show has a mature couple with real problems. A couple that communicates and is not afraid to be vulnerable and open to each other. This is especially true for Shan Shan who is made vulnerable to Feng Teng and the many co-workers and friends who don't believe she's good enough for him.

Shan Shan is a poor girl from Hainan newly arrived in Shanghai after obtaining a job at the prestigious conglomerate, Feng Teng. Through an incident her boss' sister, Feng Yue (Zhang Yang Guo Er), ends up becoming indebted to her and sends her lunch to work as payment. This causes a massive sensation at work and unfortunately Shan Shan is someone who likes to fade into the background.

In one of her bouts of isolation at the company's rooftop she catches Feng Teng's attention (he can see her from his office, but she can't see him) as he watches her stuff her face adorably and endeavors to get her to come to him.

Feng Teng stalking watching Shan Shan

The drama focuses on their relationship and Shan Shan's insecurities which lie in the gap between their social class, education, and wealth. Usually this conflict is exacerbated by evil rich parents, but this drama shows how most of us would feel if we were dating handsome rich men. Why me? Why am I so special? Why doesn't he date her? Shan Shan's struggle to answer these questions and live up to certain expectations is what makes this drama special and different. There's nothing I appreciate more than a Candy looking character finding her own self-worth. Feng Teng's supportiveness and emotional maturity doesn't hurt any and breaks all drama stereotypes of the rich jerk. He may be stoic and sarcastic but it is always clear how much he loves Shan Shan and how much he's willing to give hell to people who say otherwise.

Despite its emotional and realistic rendition of the poor girl rich guy scenario, the show doesn't take itself too seriously. Shan Shan's  hilarious cartoonish renditions of her day dreams, Feng Teng's deadpan humor and Zheng Qi's playful ribbing make this drama addictive and charming in its own right.

So watch for the humor, this adorable couple and the character development that sees a young accounting assistant from nowhere town become an independent, hardworking and talented young woman who becomes unexpectedly successful in life and love.

Side Notes

* This drama was based on an Internet novel
* I love when they say Xue Shan Shan!
* The kisses were amazing (no Park Shin Hye kisses here!)
* The fashion in this drama was great and it was reported Zhang Han bought most of it with his own     money (cha-ching!)

Korean Drama: Kill Me, Heal Me

Last month my heart ripped apart when I finally finished what must be the best drama in this world, Kill Me, Heal Me. The drama stars Ji Sung who was in the previous drama I reviewed, Secret, with the same heroine Hwang Jung Eum. This power couple does it again with this drama and on a larger scale because of the complexity that was not present in Secret.

Kill Me, Heal Me is a drama about Cha Do Hyun, a chaebol heir who has seven personalities and Oh Ri Jin played by Hwang Jung Eum is the psychiatrist that is going to cure him of his multiple personality disorder. The drama is at the same time hilarious and heart rending as it shows us the exploits of the seven personalities and the consequences for Cha Do Hyun when he wakes up and has to clean up their mess as well as his feelings of helplessness and worthlessness as he struggles to face the past that has ripped his whole being into pieces.

Below are the 7 personalities that make this drama the best of 2015:

Cha Do Hyun: The main personality, he is a quiet and reserved heir to a huge company in Korea and has multiple personality disorder. He hires Oh Ri Jin to be his live-in psychiatrist and falls in love with her violent gentle ways.

Ahn Yo Na: One of Cha Do Hyun's personalities, she shows up when he has to navigate a situation subtly, usually when he's in public. She likes to come out and wear hair bows and chase after K-pop idols while people around her are in shock at her male appearance. In short, she's HI-LARIOUS.

Ahn Yo Sub: Yo Na's twin and suicidal brother who bears the most sadness and usually struggles to find a reason to live although he spouts beautiful poetry and listens to classical music when he's not looking for the next building to throw himself off of.

Ferry Park: He's one of the most hilarious personalities. He has a hick Korean accent, loves to fish and is obsessed with boats and making bombs. In essence, he's the reason I died laughing and came back to life to laugh some more.

Na Na: A little girl connected to his past.

Shin Se Gi: He comes out when Cha Do Hyun is angry and can't handle it. He also comes out to kick ass with his beautiful mascara and leather jacket. He is the bad boy we all love. He is the reason we love this drama. He is the reason this drama is beautiful and bittersweet and filled with haunting emotion.

Mr. X: The fixer.

The performance

As I mentioned in my podcast, which you can listen to here and by subscribing on Itunes by searching for Drama Joah, this drama is incredible. The soundtrack is the best I've ever heard as it complements the drama and its theme very well, the acting is superb and the directing is enchanting.

One of the things that has me in awe about this drama is Ji Sung's performance. I discovered him through Protect the Boss, which was a light drama and did not really do justice to his potential. Even having watched Secret I was totally unprepared for his performance in KMHM. His eyes were beacons that let you know which personality was in the forefront. He was able to say so much without even opening his mouth and to me this was incredible. There is no other actor like him and I look forward to seeing much more of him.

Can you guess who this is?

I know this drama deserves a 10-page review with glowing renditions of every beautiful scene that captivated our hearts. The ones that made us cry and laugh and cry again in a matter of seconds. But the fact is that there is nothing to say. This drama must be watched. It must be enjoyed because it makes you feel alive.

So watch for the romance, the mystery and that bittersweet moment when Cha Do Hyun becomes whole and the personalities we fell in love with merge into the man we knew he was all along.

Korean Drama: Secret Starring Ji Sung

I know I haven't blogged in a long time, but sometimes life gets in the way. It's not that I haven't been watching Korean dramas or haven't found one that was worth writing about, it's just too much time has passed for me to write about them. However, out of all the ones I have watched, one has stayed with me in the back of my mind and heart. That drama is Secret.

Last year was all about the supernatural and the usual romantic dramas that we love. And then along came Secret. A melodrama that portrayed such a deep and grief-filled love that the feels from episode to episode were overwhelming.

Secret is a drama about a woman named Kang Yoo Jung (Hwang Jung Eum) who takes the blame for her boyfriend, An Do Hoon's (Bae Soo-Bin), hit-and-run car accident, thinking that she could save the future prosecutor some trouble with the law. Unfortunately, what seemed like a mere crash into a water tank, resulted in the death of a young, pregnant woman. The twist is that the boyfriend knew what he did, let her take the blame, and when she was taken to jail, he had the audacity to try to keep her in there to cover his tracks.

To be fair, he tried to keep her from taking the blame, but she insisted thinking that she would not get in a lot of trouble. She ends up getting sentenced to jail for four years for the hit-and-run.

On the sidelines is Jo Min Hyuk (Ji Sung), who sees his pregnant girlfriend's supposed murderer and is planning some revenge of his own.  He decides to buy out her house and her business just to mess with her and keep her dependent on him. Unfortunately, after four years in jail and constant deception and betrayal, this girl is ready to lay down and die or at the very least live quietly for the rest of her life.

Let's talk about what has been done to her by the time she leaves prison:

1) Her boyfriend lets her take the blame for his crime
2) She finds out she's pregnant and raises her child IN JAIL.
3) When her boyfriend is told to vote on whether to let her out with THEIR CHILD, he votes not to let her out. (At this point I was designing ten thousand ways to kill a human being)
4) Her child is killed in prison
5) Her boyfriend dumps her and treats her as a burden once she's out of jail

Case in point, this woman has been crushed repeatedly. She has reached rock bottom. There is nothing else that could possibly happen to her that could destroy her further. She is not only living with the death of her child, the situation of being considered a pariah in Korean society, and the betrayal of her boyfriend who never stepped in even when their child was born. She also has to live with her decisions and the fact that she had a hand in all that happened to her child by not stepping in and doing what's best for them instead of only thinking about the prosecutor who must maintain his pristine reputation.

But grief-stricken Min Hyuk has his own regrets and his own guilt to deal with and so he uses Yoo Jung as an emotional punching bag. However, the beautiful thing about his character is that despite his grief he begins to see her. To feel that she could not possibly be a cold-blooded murderer and starts investigating. I find this fascinating. It is incredible that he is willing to look past his grief and he starts to grief for her, to hurt for her and by the end he's crying for her. He becomes her strength, her anchor when she starts drifting away and giving up. He gives her the strength to get revenge and this is why this drama has stayed with me even a year later.

If this drama were a painting, it could only be described as vibrant, beautiful and achingly bittersweet. It would also have a lot of red and black because of all the pain and rage you feel when you watch this.

Do Hoon becomes such a disgusting human being that he is unrecognizable. Just seeing his face on the screen made me want to vomit. He became greedier and more cowardly as the episodes went by and my love for humanity dropped by fifty percent because of this man. He killed this woman's father and indirectly by keeping her in jail, her child. He took EVERYTHING from her.

To vent my rage, I have designed five ways he should be brought to the brink of death:

1) His skin should be melted off of his body while he is nailed to the wall
2) His legs and arms should be cut off as well as his tongue
3) He should be chained to the center of Seoul so that people could his mouth as a toilet
4) He should be made to bleed to death
5) His private area should be cut off and then the rest of his body should be frozen to death while his limbs are ripped from his body one by one

As you can see, I turned into a psycho because of this drama. My mind could not compute how a human being could do this to another human being. To a LOVED ONE.

So....

Watch this because it's rare to see a Korean drama that does not mess up the ending. It's rare to see incredible character development. It's rare to see love growing from such grief. It's rare to see forgiveness and redemption. Most of all, watch because this drama does an incredible job of contrasting the incredible human beings of this world and the monsters of this world.




Please stay tuned for my review of It's Okay, That's Love, a drama starring Zo In Sung. 

The Wolf of Wall Street

Leonardo DiCaprio as the real wolf of Wall Street and the real life wolf on the right. 

The Wolf of Wall Street is based on the real life story of Jordan Belfort. A kid raised by two accountants in Bayside, Queens. When I think about how I was raised by a woman making two hundred dollars a week, I have no sympathy for this money-hungry shark, but I give Leonardo DiCaprio credit for inciting sympathy from me.

How do I even start expressing how outstanding this movie is? It encompasses all the great qualities that make a movie about greed great. It shows the positive, the hunger for more more MOAR and finally the negatives of money and it shows it in such a realistic way. We don't get the black and white Hollywood ending where the bad guy ends up where he belongs and the audience eats it up and thinks that in real life the bad guy gets what's coming to him. Sometimes the shark gets to eat the human and swim happily ever after and given that we've seen the crooks that made the stock market crash a couple of years ago, I think it's safe to say that this happens in real life as well.

The Wolf of Wall Street shows us the real Wall Street where the motto is "fuck the client, fuck the people, I need this money in my pocket." As Jordan Belfort (Leonardo DiCaprio) said in the movie, "Those schmucks didn't need the money. And besides, I could spend it better than them." I loved this part because this is how the sharks on Wall Street really think. We see them in the news all the time, they do their Ponzi schemes, burn all of the paper work, quit their job and go work for our government. It was refreshing to see it here in living color. It was raw and honest and it didn't apologize for it. It made fun of it and it made light of the issue, but I think the message got through because most people in the theatre were laughing because they didn't want to cry since they knew this was true. Granted, Belfort did not go work for government (thank God) but he made his own trashy contributions by spreading the love or really, the crap that was coming out of his mouth, in his seminars.

The way he spread that love was by spreading his smooth speaking skills. His skill of "not taking no for an answer" was taught to his own personal army. An army that consisted of other sharks, sharks he had created to keep the money flowing. The way he would go up in front of them and scream at them to motivate them and they would get up and cheer for him and yell "I fucking love you, Jordan!" made this operation seem like a church. These people would literally jump up and down and scream and dance around when this guy spoke and while I was horrified, I also admired the brilliance that is Leornado DiCaprio. He made it seem so real.

His life was a roller coaster of drugs, prostitutes and sex, but in the end it was money money money. My mind struggled to comprehend how Leonardo was able to go from a seductive, infatuated lover to a careless money making machine who had no regard for the "schmucks" he was ruining with every dollar he was making.

Then at one point I started to feel exhausted. It all became pointless. Maybe it's just that greed is hard to explain. Maybe because greed is derived from fear, it is irrational and thus hard to understand and cure. At one point I felt like shouting "Belfort, take the deal!"once the cops started to sniff around his shady operations. It came to the point where I just wanted him to give up. He was almost getting caught, he had discovered he wasn't invincible and I thought he would understand that he had been defeated. I just wanted to take a breath and release the tension, but he got up and said "They want me to say no, they want me to leave my home. This is my home! They are gonna have to come in with a wrecking ball, with a SWAT team to drag me out of here!" Aaaaand I lost all hope. Not even when he experienced an incident of  Titanic proportions did this guy see reason.

I wanted to impose my will on him. I wanted him to quit and to just take his money and run away. I wanted to ask him "when is enough, enough?" "What else could you possibly want?" And he would answer back and say, "I want more." "I've been a rich man and I've been a poor man and out of the two I'll always choose to be rich." And I would sag back down on my seat and watch the train wreck unfold like a mass murder with a symphony as background music, horrific but majestic in its colors and passion.

And then as we reach the climax he began to get desperate and I got desperate and then it all ended in the reality that is life: He gets away with it. Not only did he not serve a lot of years in jail, but he also leaves reminds the audience how invincible he really is, how above the poor man he will always be, he says  "When I got to the prison I was terrified, but I needn't have been. See, I forgot I was rich."

Then at the very end it all comes full circle with him in front of new disciples and a new shark hiding in its midst and he being the experienced shark attempts to draw him out with the simple command, "Sell me this pen."

Opinion

I can only say that this movie is outstanding for the following three reasons: 1) The debauchery that was going on that gave the positives of the lifestyle, at least from their point of view. 2) The children that were probably traumatized by their drug addicted father, the friends with similar violent lifestyles and the betrayal in the name of survival that show the negatives of Belfort's lifestyle. 3) The actors who were playing many different characters at once, who were monsters, wife beaters, coke addicts and abusive, but that still managed to get me on their side and have me rooting for them.

This is for you, Leo. For being the greatest actor on this earth today and for landing me back in America cinema in greatness after my stay in Korea cinema for the last couple of years.

Master's Sun Korean Drama Review

I may be a little late but as promised this will be a review of the wonderful ghost drama Master's Sun. As you may have noticed, if you are a Korean drama fan, this year has been the year for medical dramas and ghost dramas while last year was the year of revenge dramas and time traveling dramas.

Well the trend of this year starts with Master's Sun as well as Who Are You? with Ok Taecyeon from 2PM. Who Are You? was a little bit dull but still entertaining while Master's Sun was an addiction that I had no desire to get rid of. 

Master's Sun stars So Ji Sub as Joo Joong Won, the typical CEO of a department store chain that is usually seen in dramas from the Hong sisters. Joo Joong Won is a traumatized kidnapping victim that is filled with hate as he thinks his girlfriend from the other side of the tracks was involved in his kidnapping. 

L from Infinite as young Joo Joong Won

                                          

What really traumatized him was watching as the car exploded and she died in front of his eyes while her accomplice got away with the crime and his 11 million dollar necklace. 

All of this happened when he was a teen, but just like the ghosts that haunt our heroine, Joong Won's past is something that still haunts him in his adult life...LITERALLY.

Now it's present time and he meets our heroine Tae Gong Shil (Gong Hyo Jin) whose name means Sun and Joong Won is the master hence "Master's Sun. " Gong Shil is a paranoid ghost whisperer with a "Jesus Love Me" nightgown that hardly sleeps due to all the ghosts scaring and stalking her at every turn. 

In true romantic fashion she meets our hero in the rain after he gives her a ride. Or better yet his sympathetic chauffeur gives her a ride after he splashed her with water. Joong Won is annoyed but lets her get in. 

The fun starts when Gong Shil realizes that touching Joong Won makes the ghosts disappear. Even though all the skinship annoys Joong Won at first (or maybe never) he agrees to allow her to do that in exchange for her finding the whereabouts of  his 11 million dollar necklace from his dead girlfriend Cha Hee Joo, who has been following him around in her ghost form with a pathetic expression for who knows how long. 

While the plot of the drama revolves around the mystery of Hee Joo's involvement, the most fun I had was watching Joong Won help Gong Shil carry out the requests of the ghosts. 

While originally I started watching because of Seo In Gook, who plays a hot and bad ass body guard, I stayed for this couple. I stayed for their amazing chemistry and the way they made me laugh with their antics. 

The picture above perfectly shows the awesomeness of this drama. Gong Shil  can see ghosts but she also gets POSSESSED by them when she's drunk or unconscious, which is why the girl barely sleeps.  

In the second picture she's a cat, while in the third she's a French femme fatale. Suffice it to say, the girl is hilarious and Joong Won's Keojyeo's (get lost) kept me rolling on the floor for the whole show. 

The Good

The chemistry between the characters was amazing. I also love that the ghosts were actually scary and that brought a dark element to the comedy. 

I also liked that unlike Secret Garden there wasn't a magical solution for Gong Shil's condition at the end of the drama, which I think shows the growth in her character. Instead of being able to just forget about all the ghosts, she was able to embrace her condition and finally believe that it was a good thing and that she deserved to be happy as well. 

And what I like the most is the dialogue. The Hong Sisters have the amazing talent of making a conversation quick and witty. I am always entertained with her dramas and I'm not only excited with the dialogue between the main couple but with the other side characters as well. 

Now for the bad...

The Bad

As I mentioned, the main reason why the main couple gets together is to solve the mystery of Joong Won's kidnapping. I won't give it away but honestly is what you would expect from a drama. I wouldn't have cared about how left field it was if there had been anticipation or edge-of-your-seat excitement, but by the time the mystery was solved no one cared and the main conflict had become whether Gong Shil would leave Joong Won for his own good or not.

Then on top of everything some random guy shows up and tells Gong Shil that he was her guide when she was between life and death and that he can see ghosts too and at that point I just started zoning off whenever he came on the screen. 

In my opinion, any character who arrives in the drama two episodes before it's supposed to end does not deserve my attention or consideration because we all know how it will end. 

However, I would like to say that I truly enjoyed this drama. It was funny, romantic and sad. There were so many cases of children being abused that I was crying through most episodes and I love when I can feel a lot of different emotions when watching a drama.

So...

Watch it because you want to laugh, you want to see funny characters who are also incredibly human but also unreal in their supernatural way. See it for the chemistry that was like electricity touching your fingertips. Watch because it is a light and fun way to spend your nights after a hard day at life. 

Please stay tuned for my review of Secret, a drama I'm sure is gonna become my favorite of all time. Ji Sung, Fighting!

Two Weeks Korean Drama Review

What can I say about my dear Lee Jun Ki. He is a god, prettier than a girl and major kick ass. In short, he's perfection. Fortunately, so was this drama (in some parts). 

Lee Jun Ki stars in Two Weeks playing the role of Jang Tae San,  a gangster's lackey running a pawn shop who discovers he has an eight year old daughter, Soo Jin (Lee Chae Mi), and she's in desperate need of some blood marrow to cure her cancer or she will die. 

Soo Jin's mother, Seo in Hye (Park Ha Sun), was rejected by Jang Tae San eight years ago when he pushed her into a room so she could get an abortion. Obviously since he's a hero he did it because the gangster he worked for, Moon Il Seok (Jo Min Ki), told him he would kill anyone he loved were he not to go to jail in his place. 

Since Tae San knew he had to go to jail and his girlfriend's life was in danger, he pushed her away. However, now it's eight years later and a lifeless Tae San comes to life after seeing his daughter. He's even happier to find out his bone marrow can save her and the surgery is scheduled for two weeks from now. 

After Tae San gets the good news he skips off to his pawn shop when a panicked Oh Mi Sook (Im Se Mi) comes running to pawn a camera. He's in a hurry to leave, but she makes him take the camera. Tae San lends the camera to his best friend and he skips off with it. What he doesn't know is that the camera contains the evidence of Moon Il Seok's connection with the mayoral candidate Jo Seo Hee. Mi Sook was taking advantage of her position as  Il Seok's woman and working with prosecutor Park Jae Kyung to catch the two meeting. This would proof that Jo Seo Hee is corrupt and will also help Jae Kyung finally catch her father's killer: Il Seok. 

Jo Seo Hee is a psychotic character that pretends to be poor and lives in what seems like a humble house, but the house is connected to a mansion next door where she actually lives. Her dirty dealings with Il Seok allow her to  live her secret, luxurious life....and pay for her autistic son's bills and accommodation in Cyprus. 

Awww, right? Not at all, she's willing to kill anyone and step over everyone for that autistic son. She even wants to build him a small compound for himself.  In short, she's delusional.  

Anyway, Jo Seo Hee and Il Seok are planning an auction on the 26th, the date of Soo Jin's surgery. Meanwhile, they learn of Mi Sook running around after Tae San and Il Seok decides to kill her out of jealousy. Of course, he cannot go to jail so he sends Tae San to her house, drugs him and frames him for her murder. A bewildered Tae San wakes up next to the blood and with the knife in his hands. 

He gets arrested and denies the accusation. The doctor warned him that he must not get an infection or his blood will be no use to Soo Jin. Desperate,  he tries to make detective Im Seung Woo see reason, but detectives in dramas are not interested in investigating for a guy with a past offense. Coincidentally, he is also In Hye's fiancee. 

After one of Il Seok's goons tries to kill him while he's in jail, Tae San escapes and thus begins the two most hellish weeks  of his life. 

In these Two Weeks he escapes an assassin (Song Jae Rim) sent by Il Seok as well as the police, all while trying to get to the camera that can clear his name. 

Can I say how happy I am to see Jae Rim again? Woonie is looking hot in this one. For more of him see him in the Moon that Embraces the Sun as a kick ass palace guard. 

Opinion

The bad

Throughout the drama Seo Hee and Il Seok kept talking about an auction and how they're going to make 200 Billion Won and how Seo Hee is gonna leave the country afterwards. Yet, it was never clear what the hell the auction was about until the very end. 

I think it would have had a little bit more impact if we knew what was at stake from the beginning. It seemed that the only character being explored was Jang Tae San and that all the characters served only as people who helped him or hindered him or in the case of Soo Jin, cheered for him. 

I would have liked for the character of Jo Seo Hee to have been explored more. Here was a psychopath disguised as a devoted mother to an autistic son. She was willing to make dirty deals with Il Seok and make 200 Billion Won through drugs to escape with her son to his own compound that she's building for him and her to live in. All because she thinks Korea is corrupt and is hell for a place to live in. Yeah lady, because of people like you. 

This lady was ridiculously bold and fearless. I honestly thought she was the true villain of this drama. Unlike Il Seok, she wasn't ruled by her emotions and didn't give in to manic episodes of rage. She was composed, cold and utterly heartless as she thought about her son and the life she had planned for them. Unfortunately, she made the mistake of trusting the unreliable Il Seok, whose emotional decisions caused his own destruction thereby dragging her down with him. 

On a side note, what happened to the romance? I thought Tae San would fall in love with the prosecutor since she's the first one who believed in him or at least that's what the synopsis led me to believe. But we could all see that the one he loved was In Hye and that she loves him back, but as usual Korean Dramas are only good until the last episode and this unfortunately is also true for Two Weeks. 

Wae, oh WAE?!!!!

The good

Honestly, I loved this drama because it showed exceptional character development, which I have never seen in any other drama. 

Eight years ago, Jang Tae San was a man without dreams or hopes working for a gangster, but still a good and innocent man. I loved how they showed his relationship with In Hye and how his heart beat so fast for her even while he pretended to be hard and cold hearted on the outside. How despite being allergic to shrimp, he ate them in order to spend time with her. 

It's these little things that made us all feel how his life could have been had he had the courage he has at the end of the drama, eight years ago. 

But now is eight years later and Jang Tae San lived a cowardly life as a doormat for Il Seok. This is why Il Seok told him, "I chose you because you're a person that does as he's told. A person who didn't care if he lost his life." 

However, as Tae San fights for his life and for that of his daughter he grows wiser, stronger and more bad ass as the drama progresses. It seems to be a common Korean drama theme that people will only make things happen when they have someone to make it happen for them instead of just being able to do it for themselves. 

This is what we see with Jang Tae San.  In the first few episodes he just plays into Il Seok's plans and runs blindly around while trying to figure out what is going on. As the days pass by he learns to make his own plays against Il Seok and trap him and I LOVED that. As much as I love Jang Tae San when he's punching and kicking, I love him more when he's playing Il Seok like a pawn in a chess board. I love him when he's being cunning and is two, three steps ahead of everyone. 

Most of all, I love how much he grew. How saving his daughter made him desperate to live like he never wanted to before. How he learned to work with the prosecutor and the cops and how he stopped being scared and stopped waiting for things to happen to him instead of making them happen. Because my love doesn't get angry, he gets even. 

Stray observations:

Can I say how much I loved that when he was in a dangerous situation he would hallucinate seeing his daughter and they would talk and she would give him strength?

I also loved his numerous disguises, but I think these two are my favorite ones:

How come he's so pretty, ya'll?  

Also, please stay tuned for my review of Master's Sun, which ends next Thursday!